Monday, May 3, 2010

She's got it pretty bad huh?!

Is that what all of your D-Moms out there hear when you tell someone that your young kiddo is using the insulin? Pumping it so to speak? Mainlining the insulin??? Sorry, had to say the last part, it seems that's the way everyone is thinking when you speak to them about Type 1.

Today, a neighbor asked me how Grace was doing. I never know quite how to respond. I want so desperately to say 'Chronic. She's doing chronic these days.' cause that's how I roll and I would find it darkly and strangely humorous to say that to someone. But you know what, that little editor-man in my head, who so cautiously guards my words before I speak them, who saves me heartache and heartbreak, he reviewed this comment gave it a rousing thumbs down.

So, I went with 'Well, she just started an insulin pump last week.' which was met with the said titled response.

"She's got it pretty bad huh?!"

First let me just say that I find it wrong on so many levels to say this to a mom of a child with diabetes. It's like saying - "Gosh, you got a raw deal on the whole diabetes thing, cause there are people who only have a little wee bit of the diabetes and they don't have it as bad as you." or "Wow, she must of - or frankly you as her mother must have done something - really, really bad for her to get the diabetes this bad." or the standard 'Thank God I am not in your shoes!" That's exactly how it feels to me when someone says it. Like, gee, you got the worst case.

So, I am coming up with some other responses to this statement.

"Actually, she has it pretty good. She has insulin to take care of her blood sugars. She has a family who loves her. She is brave and courageous. She has great doctors and good health care. Yeah, she actually has it pretty good."


Hallie Addington said...

I love your response! I'm not sure the "editor" in my head would have won out of the "outraged, sleep deprived, psycho mom" after hearing that comment. So Kudos to you!
We're educating people - one person at a time. It's a rough job. Hang in there!
And yeah, she DOES have it good! We all do!

Amanda said...

I can never think of what to say in moments like that...always after the fact I think what I should have said!

Anonymous said...

Came across your blog today. I am a new D-mom. Ryan was diagnosed in December and I'm learning and trying to meet moms that I can connect with.

I think the "editor" in my head takes to many coffee breaks! I love the way you write and I love that you're real. Thanks! Gonna dig in soon and really do some more reading here.


Lani said...

Totally get it! I had the counselor at school, the person who is supposedly reading up and slowly becoming educated w/ type 1 ask me, "So it's been a couple months, what is her prognosis?"

I looked at him and said, "Well, it's not going aay if that's what you mean."

BUT it is all in how we respond and I love your response...although the first response would be hard to hold back. :)

Meri said...

Good for you! I love your response! I always have to correct them when they say that to me...i just can't let them go thinking the way they do. No, not bad...just type 1. And yeah, they are loved and watched over...they got it pretty good too.

Amy said...

LOVE your response...perfect and amazing!! I'm going to remember that !!!

Unknown said...

AWESOME response! and YES, I have gotten that comment before (a few too many times). All of our kids...they do have it good. We are parents doing the best we can...managing D, raising our kids,taking care of ourselves by supporting each other that we can manage D to the best of our capabilities, while trying to stay sane. Our kids have it good...and we have it good...because we have friends like you Penny.

Love to you and the fam!

Jules said...

Great response. I never fails to stop me in my tracks when people say this kind of thing. It is so misguided on so many levels but I knew next to nothing before being hit by this and have learned so much. Type 1 is much misunderstood and we are among the new wave of pioneers trying to educate one person at a time. And doing a fabulous job!


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