I remember thinking about milestones like this when I was in the hospital with her. I thought, what will it be like for her to live 5 years, 10 years, 25 years with diabetes? They were thoughts I entertained as other, more devastating thoughts lurked in the background. It was quite a shock, to find ourselves with a 6 year old with diabetes. It still is sometimes. The memory never quite leaves you of the day.
It was such a strange thing, to have her diagnosed. The moments themselves are clear in my mind, as if it happened yesterday. The parking outside the ER entrance, getting her out of her carseat, the walk in to the ER, the sheets on her hospital bed, her stuffed elephant she brought with her. I can make it all out in my mind. The hospital is close to us, and it's our go-to hospital for sickness and for visiting loved ones. I could lead a path right where we walked. I feel a rush of it all as I enter the hospital, each and every time.
Wouldn't it be something for me to have seen where she is now? I didn't know what 10 years with diabetes would do to someone, and do to a family. In some ways, it shattered us and forced us to rebuild. In many ways, it brought our love for Grace to the forefront, in fighting the battles she was at times too young to understand. It has led us to meet people we would not have otherwise met, and have the grandest times. I wish someone would have told me 10 years ago about those parts. I would have loved to hear it.
Grace is 16 now, and a teenager, and all it entails. She is girl-on-her-own, with a social life that rivals a pop star. She dances competitively on a dance team. She rocks the 11th grade. She has her sights set on college. She manages her diabetes with a pose that I surely would not have had. She gets ticked off with diabetes, and she also rolls with it. I marvel at all the times she packs up her diabetes kit, grabs a juice and a snack, and tells me where she is going and what time she will be back, not mentioning her diabetes once.
So, to the 6 year old Grace, who I thought was shattered by this diagnosis and would never do the things she wanted to, because it would hold her back, I want to say something.
You should see her now. She's glorious.
Happy 10th Diaversary, sweet Grace!