You read that right, What The Heck, BGS. And I mean it.
You would think I would have a handle on blood sugars by now. But that's a farce, isn't it. We really don't have a handle on anything when it comes to diabetes. It's all a giant crapshoot into the darkness. At least it's felt like that the past few days.
I think it's growth hormones, so I increase her basals all the way around. It works for a day or two, then it slams her to the ground with lows, lows, lows. So I change it back and I get highs. And by change I mean I bump it back up a notch, .05 units. Yeah, big time there.
Then Grace has a night of highs. Highs like you cannot get them down and they will stay there forever and ever, amen. Those kind of highs. I loathe those kind of highs cause you know what I want to say. 'OK, BG, I am done playing with you, you want to stay high, stay high. No, in fact, I am going to bolus and temp basal you, the likes of which have not been seen before.'
Then I come to my senses and realize once again, this lovely pump is connected to my live daughter, so I don't. I give .50 units when I want to give 1.50 units. I temp basal increase by +30% for 2 hours, when I want to shoot that high BG with a +95% for 3 hours and see how it likes that.
That's what I mean by WTH BGS.
And Dexcom buzzes and beeps and whirrs and flings itself off table tops and bureaus cause it's moving so much, creating those roller coaster effects on the graph. They are lovely, aren't they. Until you realize that's your child's blood sugar doing that, going up up up and then coming down, down, down.
I'll get a handle on it, I really will. Eventually. I mean, some day I will.
Until then, it's cursing the BGs without cursing the child.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Diabetes takes a back seat
As Grace gets older it's not on my mind as much. I know, can you imagine! The days roll on and we are so busy, well, living, that sometimes we just bolus, dose, extend and then roll. We have much bigger fish to fry most days.
There are always those days, however, when diabetes moves to the forefront. It takes center stage cause it misses the limelight I suppose. It wants all the attention. It must have been an only child growing up, you know that? Those days are fewer and fewer, but when it does get to the stage, the lights are on, the audience of Grace and I are standing at attention, until the light fades and it exits stage left.
There has been so much going on lately. Here's a recap:
JDRF Walk in Philly. 10,000 of your closest friends, walking for a cure.
Halloween - she went as 'social media' with her girlfriend. And of course, Halloween activities!
And most of all, World Diabetes Day, coming on November 14th. It warms my heart when her whole team in 6th grade is gonna wear blue.
There are always those days, however, when diabetes moves to the forefront. It takes center stage cause it misses the limelight I suppose. It wants all the attention. It must have been an only child growing up, you know that? Those days are fewer and fewer, but when it does get to the stage, the lights are on, the audience of Grace and I are standing at attention, until the light fades and it exits stage left.
There has been so much going on lately. Here's a recap:
JDRF Walk in Philly. 10,000 of your closest friends, walking for a cure.
 |
| Like a boss on top of the Art Museum steps. Yeah, she's Rocky. |
 |
| Our favorite CDE, Gary Scheiner. Walking like a pro. |
Halloween - she went as 'social media' with her girlfriend. And of course, Halloween activities!
 |
| Social Media! |
 |
| Apple chunking' at our local orchard. We can sling them FAR! |
And most of all, World Diabetes Day, coming on November 14th. It warms my heart when her whole team in 6th grade is gonna wear blue.
Monday, October 14, 2013
A1Cs tell a story
The A1Cs are just a piece of the puzzle, just one small piece. And sometimes, well, many times, we as parents put too much into one small piece. We fret over them, sigh when they are not what we want, cheer when we get what we want after so much hard work and learning, learning, learning.
The A1C does reveal things though - things you do to get a lower BG average over time, a trick you now know that you didn't know before, the jump from shots to a pump, the addition of a CGM - the A1Cs tell the story.
This is the story of a smaller pod, no Pod change highs and wearing every Pod for a full three days, and sometimes riding the last of the basal out on an 'expired' Pod.
Just had our endo appt since the three months Grace has been on the smaller Pod.
And that's our story.
The A1C does reveal things though - things you do to get a lower BG average over time, a trick you now know that you didn't know before, the jump from shots to a pump, the addition of a CGM - the A1Cs tell the story.
This is the story of a smaller pod, no Pod change highs and wearing every Pod for a full three days, and sometimes riding the last of the basal out on an 'expired' Pod.
Just had our endo appt since the three months Grace has been on the smaller Pod.
And that's our story.
10-14-13 6.2
5-30-13 6.7
2-26-13 6.5
11-29-12 6.4
8-21-12 6.4
5-29-12 6.6
2-28-12 6.6
11-1-11 7.1
7-28-11 7.1
3-10-11 6.4
12-14-10 6.6
9-7-10 6.6
6-24-10 6.8
3-16-10 7.3
12-15-09 7.7
11-23-09 7.9
8-27-09 7.6
5-7-09 7.3
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Independent
Independence - doing something by yourself, free from dependence. Dependence on a nurse, dependence on Mom, Dad, an 'other' who looks over your shoulder. I am been digging deep this last year to create more of this - independence. What it looks like to me is that Grace does it herself. We have worked on the expectation, I have modeled what I expect in terms of care, she has done it semi-independent and she has done it with me checking in.
Now we are spinning towards independence. No checking with me, just checking in cause she wants me to know. Doing it herself. Sometimes I force it. And she does it. Sometimes I wait. And she does it. But my gal is doing it, exactly what I would have done.
Independence at a sleepover she wanted to attend. With a big dance with her sleepover mate the night before. I hadn't heard from her since about 10 pm the previous night. Then, this morning, I get this:
Now we are spinning towards independence. No checking with me, just checking in cause she wants me to know. Doing it herself. Sometimes I force it. And she does it. Sometimes I wait. And she does it. But my gal is doing it, exactly what I would have done.
Independence at a sleepover she wanted to attend. With a big dance with her sleepover mate the night before. I hadn't heard from her since about 10 pm the previous night. Then, this morning, I get this:
I want to explore what this means in terms of her care. Independence from me. That's my ultimate goal, right? Independence so she cares for herself, with my role changing to monitor and guide.
Growing up rocks.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
DSMA Live: Parents Talk 9/9/13
Tune in tomorrow night, Monday, September 9, 2013 as I guest host DSMA: Parents Talk with Lorriane Sisto of This is Caleb. Our guest will be Bennet Dunlap and the Strip Safely Campaign.
Bennet will just have finished appearing on a panel at the Diabetes Technology Society: 'Verifying the Performance of Blood Glucose Monitors following FDA Clearance.' He will tell us all about what happened on the panel and the current status of the Strip Safely campaign.
Tune in - it's great information about such an important subject for all people living with diabetes.
Bennet will just have finished appearing on a panel at the Diabetes Technology Society: 'Verifying the Performance of Blood Glucose Monitors following FDA Clearance.' He will tell us all about what happened on the panel and the current status of the Strip Safely campaign.
Tune in - it's great information about such an important subject for all people living with diabetes.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Evidence of the low
Grace had one heck of a low last night. She was smooth sailing along at a steady 104 BG, heading straight east arrow, on the Dex. I had just looked at it about ten minutes before it happened. Then, she walked into the room. With those eyes, I can always tell by the eyes. The ones that say 'I'm a little dizzy and starting to go out of it, I'm looking around for something but I don't know what...' THOSE eyes.
"I'm feeling a little dizzy" Grace says, as she holds her PDM, strips and 'pricker.'
I press on Dex's little button and up pops 54 BG, with a south arrow. Yeah, the one that points straight down into hell. Cause that's where you are about to go with a low that comes on this fast.
Literally, looking at the Dex graph dots later, it looked like she stepped off a cliff from 104 to 54.
50 point BG drop in about 10 minutes. Whoa, that's some kind of ride.
Beeeeeeep.
31
Did your heart just stop? Cause mine did when I saw that on her PDM. The lowest she has ever gone was 27 and it was not pretty at all. 31 I have never seen, and would like never to see again.
I hit 'suspend' on her PDM and hit '1 hour.'
Thirty one.
Then it happens in slow motion. Grace lays down on my bed and says 'I am really dizzy' and I grab the Juicy Juice that sits in her room, tear off the little straw and puncture it into the little box of juice. All that happens in 5 seconds. She slurps it down, while I open the glucose tabs and hand her two grape ones. She puts them in her mouth and starts to munch, only she tells me that she needs to lay down to chew.
Sweetie, lay down, it's OK, just keep chewing, is what I say to her. Just keep chewing. Chew.
I run downstairs and grab a banana, and a Clif bar. I know she will eat these.
She wolfs down the banana and the bar. And lays there, opening and closing her eyes steadily. I lay down beside her and hold her hand, stroking it, telling her how lovely she is, how wonderful she is and how it will all be over soon. That the numbers will go up and she will be OK, sometimes it takes a few minutes.
"I'd like half a peanut butter sandwich, and some more juice."
I run down to make the quickest sandwich I can and open another juice. She eats both, sitting up this time, slowly chewing the sandwich. Proclaiming it the best sandwich in the whole world.
As she eats, I write it down, to remember the carbs. Cause with my gal, these carbs will add up, and in an hour or two, she will be sky high if I don't remember what she ate and start adding it up.
So far we are at 90g carbs.
It's been about 20 minutes. Grace rechecks and she is 77 BG.
We lay down and talk, and recheck in about 15 minutes and she is rolling with a 114 BG.
I turn back on her basal insulin in her pump. I give it the respect it deserves.
And with everything in my being, I give her 45g of carbs 'free' in that I don't dose her for them, but I ever so gently input that she had 45g to eat and I hit 'enter' on her pump. Giving her the thing that sent her to the 31 in the first place.
And I keep the list, as a reminder.
"I'm feeling a little dizzy" Grace says, as she holds her PDM, strips and 'pricker.'
I press on Dex's little button and up pops 54 BG, with a south arrow. Yeah, the one that points straight down into hell. Cause that's where you are about to go with a low that comes on this fast.
Literally, looking at the Dex graph dots later, it looked like she stepped off a cliff from 104 to 54.
50 point BG drop in about 10 minutes. Whoa, that's some kind of ride.
Beeeeeeep.
31
Did your heart just stop? Cause mine did when I saw that on her PDM. The lowest she has ever gone was 27 and it was not pretty at all. 31 I have never seen, and would like never to see again.
I hit 'suspend' on her PDM and hit '1 hour.'
Thirty one.
Then it happens in slow motion. Grace lays down on my bed and says 'I am really dizzy' and I grab the Juicy Juice that sits in her room, tear off the little straw and puncture it into the little box of juice. All that happens in 5 seconds. She slurps it down, while I open the glucose tabs and hand her two grape ones. She puts them in her mouth and starts to munch, only she tells me that she needs to lay down to chew.
Sweetie, lay down, it's OK, just keep chewing, is what I say to her. Just keep chewing. Chew.
I run downstairs and grab a banana, and a Clif bar. I know she will eat these.
She wolfs down the banana and the bar. And lays there, opening and closing her eyes steadily. I lay down beside her and hold her hand, stroking it, telling her how lovely she is, how wonderful she is and how it will all be over soon. That the numbers will go up and she will be OK, sometimes it takes a few minutes.
"I'd like half a peanut butter sandwich, and some more juice."
I run down to make the quickest sandwich I can and open another juice. She eats both, sitting up this time, slowly chewing the sandwich. Proclaiming it the best sandwich in the whole world.
As she eats, I write it down, to remember the carbs. Cause with my gal, these carbs will add up, and in an hour or two, she will be sky high if I don't remember what she ate and start adding it up.
So far we are at 90g carbs.
It's been about 20 minutes. Grace rechecks and she is 77 BG.
We lay down and talk, and recheck in about 15 minutes and she is rolling with a 114 BG.
I turn back on her basal insulin in her pump. I give it the respect it deserves.
And with everything in my being, I give her 45g of carbs 'free' in that I don't dose her for them, but I ever so gently input that she had 45g to eat and I hit 'enter' on her pump. Giving her the thing that sent her to the 31 in the first place.
And I keep the list, as a reminder.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
D Camp -Year 4
Camp Victory, we have no words. We wait and wait and wait for you all year. The countdown to diabetes camp starts, well, the day after the previous year's week ends. Literally. Grace will say 'Only 364 more days until camp.' Do you know the countdown that needs to happen to count down for an entire year? On second thought, you probably don't want to know. It's looooooooong.
(You can read about Camp Year 1 here. And Camp Year 2 here. And Camp Year 3 here. Enjoy.)
This is Grace's 4th year at camp, and as she puts it 'It's the best week of my whole year, Mom.' And I truly believe it is. Our family would plan a trip to Disney, and if it was the same week as diabetes camp, Grace would choose diabetes camp, hands down. It beats the ocean, Disney and an amusement park, all rolled into one.
She finally moved up to the 11-12 year old cabin. The pink cabin, Sassafras. I love the picture that captures the Sass, because truly it fits.
And of course, the t-shirts rocked. Sweeties with Betes, indeed.
And of course, there is Lily. Lily is the very reason that Grace loves camp. ONE ENTIRE WEEK with her best friend, or as Grace puts it, 'Mom, she's my DBFF, and like my sister.' And they are, two peas in a pod. Outgoing, funny, kind, smart, caring, listeners, and best of best friends. They found each other at this very camp, four years ago. And it was like capturing lightning in a bottle. There had to be a reason we sent Grace to camp that year, and Lily's parents sent Lily, and they ended up in the same cabin, and by the end of 6 days together that first year, decided they were best friends forever. Right from the beginning, to click with someone like that, and only be 8 years old. That's pure lightning, right there.
They swam, they campfired, they ziplined, they ate, they tested, they treated lows, they made mugs in arts and crafts, they went on hikes, they joined the polar bear club and jumped in the pool early one morning. They communed, they made new friends and most of all, they were part of a community that cares deeply about it's members.
There is nothing in the world that comes close to the closing ceremonies, where counselors, leaders, campers, staff and directors of camp sing the closing song 'Waltzing with Bears.' And as they sang it, the words resonated with me:
Raggy bears, shaggy bears, baggy bears too
And there's nothing on earth Uncle Walter won't do
So he can go waltzing, wa-wa-wa-waltzing
So he can go waltzing with bears
There's nothing on earth that Grace won't do, so she can go to diabetes camp, put her arms around her peers living with Type 1, sway in time to the music, and sing.
(You can read about Camp Year 1 here. And Camp Year 2 here. And Camp Year 3 here. Enjoy.)
This is Grace's 4th year at camp, and as she puts it 'It's the best week of my whole year, Mom.' And I truly believe it is. Our family would plan a trip to Disney, and if it was the same week as diabetes camp, Grace would choose diabetes camp, hands down. It beats the ocean, Disney and an amusement park, all rolled into one.
She finally moved up to the 11-12 year old cabin. The pink cabin, Sassafras. I love the picture that captures the Sass, because truly it fits.
And of course, the t-shirts rocked. Sweeties with Betes, indeed.
And of course, there is Lily. Lily is the very reason that Grace loves camp. ONE ENTIRE WEEK with her best friend, or as Grace puts it, 'Mom, she's my DBFF, and like my sister.' And they are, two peas in a pod. Outgoing, funny, kind, smart, caring, listeners, and best of best friends. They found each other at this very camp, four years ago. And it was like capturing lightning in a bottle. There had to be a reason we sent Grace to camp that year, and Lily's parents sent Lily, and they ended up in the same cabin, and by the end of 6 days together that first year, decided they were best friends forever. Right from the beginning, to click with someone like that, and only be 8 years old. That's pure lightning, right there.
They swam, they campfired, they ziplined, they ate, they tested, they treated lows, they made mugs in arts and crafts, they went on hikes, they joined the polar bear club and jumped in the pool early one morning. They communed, they made new friends and most of all, they were part of a community that cares deeply about it's members.
There is nothing in the world that comes close to the closing ceremonies, where counselors, leaders, campers, staff and directors of camp sing the closing song 'Waltzing with Bears.' And as they sang it, the words resonated with me:
Raggy bears, shaggy bears, baggy bears too
And there's nothing on earth Uncle Walter won't do
So he can go waltzing, wa-wa-wa-waltzing
So he can go waltzing with bears
There's nothing on earth that Grace won't do, so she can go to diabetes camp, put her arms around her peers living with Type 1, sway in time to the music, and sing.
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