Monday, May 15, 2017

DBlog Week: Unexpected Normal


I never expected that this would be normal. I didn't think that one day we would just roll with a 317 BG, like it's no big deal. I didn't think that one day I would not talk about the 39 BG that hit at 3 AM. I thought all of it was everything, all the time. And it was, but now it's not.

Maybe that makes me a shitty D parent. Maybe it makes me a 'normal' one, I don't know. Maybe it just is what it is. After 8 years of the D, and raising a young girl to a teen, I cannot ride the rollercoaster any more. It takes too much of my soul and my energy. 

I used to stay awake all night, watching the 317 lower, or in some cases, get higher. And I wouldn't go to bed until it was 'within range.' It might take 30 minutes, or it might be hours. It was anyone's call how it would turn out. How it usually turned out was I was exhausted and no good to anyone the next day. Same with a very low BG. I used to stay awake for hours waiting for it to rise, rise rise. I still DO stay awake to see the lows come up, but our lows have adjusted. For Grace, a 40-ish BG warrants me staying up, a 50-ish does not.

Instead, I know a strong temp basal increase along with a great big truckload of insulin will get my Grace down from the high. And it will happen within 2-3 hours. And I know that a Juicy Juice and a granola bar will raise her BG about 50 in about 30 minutes. And I give her them and I come back in about 2 hours to make sure they worked. I don't sit and wait anymore. 

The 'new normal' is what is unexpected. It crept up on me. There was no big light switch that turned on, or off, for that matter. It was a slow turning to a manageable life with an unmanageable illness.




7 comments:

mum of type 1 said...

This totally takes me back yo the months after my son was diagnosed! The good part is when you can look back and see how far you've come. Thanks for sharing this!

Karen said...

In my opinion, you are the most awesome kind of DMom. But rolling with what comes, you're helping Grace learn to do that too. And that's exactly the kind of encouragement I think a kid with D needs.

Joanne said...

I remember writing a post like this some time ago... when did it all become so "normal"? I think it makes you a rockin' D-mama!

Meri said...

And then another new normal will come. I remember the guilt of letting my boys stay higher so I could get some sleep.Eventually, I was able to step back for awhile, but now I'm back in again, neck deep, in nighttime checks. When did this become normal again? Love you!

Helen Edwards said...

thank you for sharing your story. I remember my mum sitting up with me in the night while I ate, back in the days when we had pig insulin and very little ability to control diabetes very tightly at all. Mum is still my biggest support and friend in my diabetes and I am sure you will be the same with your daughter

Kerri. said...

I think you are awesome. I have for ages now. <3

meanderings said...

I miss reading your Grace updates.