Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Dear Glucagon



Dear Glucagon,

I never wanted to open you. I never even wanted to KNOW about you in the first place, so there! In fact, when they talked about you in the hospital, my eyes glazed over and I think I even put my fingers in my ears and started  humming 'La la la la la.' That's how much I never wanted to think about using you.

Two years into the game and I never have had to open you yet. Oh sure, I showed you off to people - Grace's nurse at school, camp, and you just sat there, all red and foreboding. And when you expired, I even practiced on your old expired needles and vials. I thought you at least deserved to be used before I discarded you to medical waste. You must have resented that. Oh well.

Monday night though, you stood at the ready. Just sitting there on the shelf. Did you miss us or something? Did you feel me grab you and pry you open and feel my disdain for your existence? Oh no, you just felt the loathing, well, good, I did and I do. Loathe you I mean. The D I embrace, cause it's the only way I know to make it through this disease. But you, I can easily loathe.

You must have noticed the 30's that I couldn't get Grace out of for more than 25 minutes. It took two hours to get her to a rosy 96.(*Sorry if I gave anyone the thought that she hung in the 30s for 2 hours - my writing ain't grand folks. What, you mean you can't read my mind? ;0) You sat patiently waiting as I poured 4 juices down her and forced her to eat a banana at 10 pm at night. That was fun times, I tell ya. And you just sat. You even sat through the phone call to the pediatric endocrinologist on call, who just happened to be our lovely own Dr. B., at 11 pm. She told me not to use you just yet. HA. I waited out the low and sure enough, it took about two hours, but you rose and steadily rose.

I read about how you are being used in other families. It seems you have visited Caleb and he vlogged about you, and his mom Lorraine has posted about using you in mini-doses that is invaluable. I thought of her and Caleb on Monday night.

So, in parting, I just wanted to say while I appreciate you hanging around all this time, along with your twin buddy on our shelf, I am happy I haven't had to use you yet.

But I am glad you are here.

Love,
Penny and Grace

13 comments:

Alexis of Justices Misbehaving Pancreas said...

So scary! I remember feeling sweaty opening that box. Glad everythings ok! You always kick ass ;)

Lorraine of "This is Caleb..." said...

Oy yoy yoy! 30s for 2 hours!?!? Not fun at all. Whew - great job getting through that, my friend. I hope Grace is doing okay today.

Thanks for the shout-out. I really found it calming knowing that others had used it without any huge fall out on the other side - it made it less scary. It's good to know that it's there when we need it, just in case.

And again - whew!

Whew - again.

Karen said...

Wow, I can't even imagine how scary that must have been. While I'm glad you had Mr. (or Ms.?) Glucagon nearby, I'm glad you didn't have to use him or her. If it's any consolation, I've been at this for 31 years and have never had to use Glucagon. (Please please please don't let that last statement be the jinx that ends my 31 year streak!!)

Reyna said...

(((HUGS))) Sounds like a rough night Penny. I was worried when I saw your post title in my dashboard...wasn't even gonna read any blogs, but had to check on you and Grace.

Love ya ad glad you didn't need to break the Big Guns out sistah!

Renata said...

Dang for 2 hours? We've never been through something like that. Happy to hear you kicked D's ass!

Pam said...

We've had to open that ugly red box once - six weeks after diagnosis, no less! NPH and a stomach bug DO NOT mix! I dosed Grace up in the morning to cover her 45 carb lunch and sent her off to school. She was home less than two hours later throwing up - and the NPH hadn't even kicked in yet. I ended up having to give her two mini-doses (7 years old = 7 units x 2) to get her through. That's it so far though.

Glad to hear you made it through. Don't you just LOVE force-feeding your child in the middle of the night? Hope Gracie's feeling ok! Send her our love!

Meri said...

30's??? Two hours??? I would have been a puddle on the floor. I'm so glad you got through. I'm so glad she could eat. I'm so glad you had the DOC there for you! I'm so glad all is well!

Laura said...

Whoooooaaaaaa Mama -2 hours in the 30s. You deserve an award for that. I'm so glad you didn't have to use it - we've never used it either. It does make me feel better that others have used and blogged about the mini-dosing!

I hope you and Sweet Grace are doing ok!! :)

Penny said...

Hey everyone - thanks for all your comments and DOC love, I appreciate it. Just wanted to clarify about the 30s - they lasted about 25-30 minutes and the rest of the two hours were a slow climb north - 42, 55, 57, 68, 72, 81, until we finally got to 96. I didn't want anyone to think we hung out in the 30's for 2 straight hours. If that had happened I might have even shot myself with the glucagon! Sorry if I wasn't too clear in my letter to my little red pal. Thanks gals.

k2 said...

Jeez Penny, that must have been so scary for you both!
BIG HUGS 2 you both!

Jacquie said...

I had to use my glucagon for the first time in over 20 years because (and this is really embarrassing), I drank too much last week, came home with the drunk munchies, stuffed my face and bolused for the food, and then threw up. My BG was 48 and I knew there was no way I could keep anything down, so I glucagon'd it.

I have to say I'm glad I did, though. I spent 20 years being SO afraid of having to use it, but it was relatively painless, and I feel asleep pretty sure I wasn't going to die in the night. Worth it.

Jacquie said...

Allow me to add: I will never drink whiskey again.

Wendy said...

OH MAN!!! EEK!!!!!

I gave glucagon for the first time in the 5 years since her dx a few months ago and it's fine with me if we never need it again!

I'm so happy to know Glucagon is close by, but it's fine with me if it expires every year!