Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Daily

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

 Yep, the daily. You know, the worry. It creeps up on you and stays there. What if I didn't dose enough? Why all these lows? Wow, that was a high!  Day in and day out.

It's hard not to let the worry pervade everything and to pass that along to your kiddo. Not to let her see the furrowed brow, the expression on your face that says all is not well.

I am worrying about someone else condition. Most of the time. Almost every day. It cannot be good, for the soul, the mind and health. I am typically not a worrier. A do-er, I am a do-er, but this whole worry thing is new to me. I didn't spend the first year worrying so much, I think I was overwhelmed by it all. But now, I see myself worrying more and more. I don't like it. I have to find it within myself a way to change, so that it does not defeat me in this marathon journey. So that it doesn't affect her in her journey.

Endo appt on Tuesday. Maybe that's contributing to the whole worry. Is there a parent of a T1 out there who has a young child and doesn't somehow feel that the A1C score is a grade upon their parenting? I know I feel it to some extent. I want a good grade! I want a good grade! (That's me, whining.)

When really, it's not about me at all. It's about her.

1 comment:

Meri said...

Oh ya...the week before endo appointments I fall apart with worry. I want things to go well so badly, I cringe at every number. And let's face it...that is A LOT of numbers!

Whine away. ;) I get it. The worry will always stay...sometimes, like now, jumping on your head like an honery monkey, and other times it will sit quietly in the back of your head.

(((HUGS))) Good luck Tuesday. You will see, all will be well!