Paying for the low

Grace's lows have been endless this past week. I cut her basals by about 30% and still they come on. I increased her I:C ratio incrementally, and still about 2 hours after she eats, she plummets. Not sure what's going on, but it stinks.

There was a low today in Walmart. Yes, Walmart. We rarely ever go, as the one near us is humongous and it overwhelms me - the people, the crowds, someone is always angry there. I find my comfort in Target, not Walmart. Hey, to each his own. But we found ourselves there.

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Dexcom tells me something is seriously wrong. It buzzes against my hip, as I threw it into my purse side pocket as we shopped. I look down and see a 49 with a southeast arrow. She is headed down.

Crap on a stick.

We are near the refrigerated cases. I look for some orange juice, as she would willingly, gladly, drink it. There are no individual bottles of it. Why not Walmart, why? You stock everything under the blessed sun, but drew the line at individual orange juices?

I spy a little 6 pack of Sunny D. Hey, it's either this or some awful chocolate milk by Nestle that I spotted out of the corner of my eye. That will make her sick, so 'no' to that.  It's too far to walk for the diabetes section and the glucose tabs. It's too far to walk for the candy aisle near check out. She's already dizzy and I have no glucose tabs in her kit. Yeah, it's summer, I am a slacker, I know.

I grab the small 6 pack of Sunny D and rip one out of the pack.

Grace looks at me like I came into the Walmart with a ski mask on, a loaded pistol and said 'I'm taking the Sunny D!'

Her eyes widen - 'MOM!!!!!!'

'I'm going to pay for it honey, it's only one of the juices, now here, drink it.'

'I don't want to drink it until we pay for it.'

Are you seriously kidding me? I applaud her honesty, I didn't raise a thief, but for the love of all that is holy - DRINK THE JUICE AND STOP REASONING WITH ME!

She drinks it down in three gulps. And tells me she is dizzy.

'Can you hold onto the cart? I will find us a place to sit.'

And I do, near a pillar, off of an aisle way.

And we sit in Walmart and drink the not-yet-paid-for juice.

And yes, I paid for it later, both in cash and a steady 96, straight-east arrow on that Dex.

Summer and PDM screens

Summer, what is it that makes the days fly? There hasn't been ten minutes where we are not coming, going or doing something. No time for updating blogs, no time for commenting - I missed that whole wonderful day of commenting on blogs, it was 11 PM before I realized it was that day - ugh.

Snapshots of our summer...

Birthday parties in the backyard.

Chilling at the beach.

D meet-ups are the best with Super Kel.

Ice cream on the boardwalk.

And since we have the new Pods and PDM, I am pretty sure that the home screen will, indeed, NEVER read her actual name.

Happy 11th Grace!

Happy 11th Birthday to the rockingest girl I know!

Oh sweet 11, on the way out of the youngsters and into the pre-teens. 

Though you give me a run for my money some days, you are still the brightest star, the one who makes me laugh and smile each and every day.

I am so very proud to be your mother.

I am so very lucky to have you as a daughter.

Have I told you lately how brave and strong and true you are?

You are.

Enjoy 11 sweet girl.

Summer time...

Summer time with D. Waiting to see if you have cooked the insulin on the beach in 90+ degree temperatures. Waiting to see if the Pod falls off while boogieboarding. All good times, huh?! Luckily, we didn't cook anything and luckily, no Pods or Dex were lost to the Atlantic Ocean.

Grace often has kids come up to her and ask her what is on her arm. She dutifully replies 'My medicine' and it seems to suffice for the kids. They end up having an answer and they are satisfied. She gets lots of looks. Most people, I assume, think it's something music-related. An iPod attached to her? Looks like it should have earplugs coming out of it. Come to think of it, that might be a really good joke sometime.

And of course, you need some BIG boluses sometimes.

Good beach days. Relaxing and chilling with D.

Philadelphia Spinners Fly Girl

Ever seen Ultimate Frisbee? Well, there are actually Major League teams that play it. Here in Philly we have the Philadelphia Spinners. As luck may have it, they have cheerleaders/dancers too, called the Fly Girls. One of the Fly Girls is Grace's dance teacher, who held a short clinic and invited the girls to come and dance at halftime of the Philadelphia Spinners game. Sure enough, Grace was more than game for this.

And now, I present, Jr. Fly Girl Grace.

Blue sign, blue hair. Natch.

Kick it up high, G!

Rocking both the OmniPod and the Dex!

Fly Girls and the Juniors

One the field, doing the 'tunnel' for the players.

Halftime routine!

Packing up and Letting Go

Grace's 5th grade class goes on a trip, annually to an Outdoor School. The true old kind of outdoor school, with bunk beds in open cabins that close with flaps, outdoor bathrooms, showers in your bathing suits, mess halls, boat rides on the Chesapeake Bay, working on a farm, walks through the swamp and cooking hotdogs on a beach campfire. It's a tradition that dates backs 40 years. EVERY 5th grader goes on the trip, it's a right of passage to do it.

This week is Grace's week.

And I have been so very excited that she is going, and as a Type 1 D-Mama, sort of dreading it. Well, you know, I have only been planning for it since September, let alone the planning in my head that has gone on since she was in 1st grade. She has an excellent nurse going with her - the sub nurse she has had for 5 years at school. He is an RN in the ICU of a city hospital. If there is anyone to handle anything under pressure, it's him. I trust him with her. I still spent almost two hours at my dining room table with him this past Saturday morning, giving him the lowdown on pump settings, temp basals, carb doses and the like.

I think I am ready.

Grace has been ready since the start of 5th grade.

'Mom, I will be fine.' 'Yes, Mom, it's all going to be OK.' 'Mom, I have going to have a blast.' and as always, she is the one reassuring me, my 10 year old packed into a 35 year old's body, that all will be well.

I've packed it all. All of what someone needs to take care of Grace for five straight days need. We have planned on pump failure, occlusions, extra syringes even though she is on the pump, the name of the nearest hospital and how to get there, the doctor on call for the outdoor school, you name it, we have a plan for it. And just because I have a plan for everything, everything will go splendidly, isn't that how it's supposed to work?!

I have packed:

OmniPods - (7 for 5 days, even though she changes sets every 3 days)
Novolog
Lantus
syringes
glucagon - 2
medical waste containers - 2
Unisolve
SkinTac
SkinPrep
Carb counting book
GlucoLift
extra batteries
alcohol pads
extra lancing device
extra meter that works with Freestyle strips
Freestyle strips
ketone meter and ketone strips
Flexifix tape
Dexcom charger
Dexcom case
clear skins that can tape over the Pod and CGM transmitter should she walk through the swamp

And I still think I forgot stuff.

Then comes the low treatment boxes, one for the nurse's cabin and one for her cabin. Juices, granola bars and fruit snacks.

She will have a blast. She will be safe and well cared for, I know it. She will come back with the same memories that her sisters have of doing this, of going through the right of passage. Collective memory, it's something to behold. 

I have packed it. I have blessed it. I have done everything so she will be ready to take D along for the ride.

Have fun, sweetie.

D Blog Week - At least it's not...

At least it's not....

I loathe that saying when it comes to Grace. At least it's not cancer. No shit it's not cancer. Why would you even say that to me? Cause cancer, whoa, that would be BAD and what you have, Penny, is not so bad at all. Always could be worse. Well, sure, I could get struck by lightning and hit by a car right now, that would be worse. But here I am, standing and talking to someone who mentions that it could be cancer. What the hell?!

At least it's not autism again.

That's what I think. And I don't say that because I think autism is such a BAD thing. I don't. It is what it is. My oldest daughter, who is 16 now, has autism. And it rocked our world. I just don't think I could do another child with autism. Yes, I know what you are saying and thinking, sure you could Penny. And yes, if I was given another child with autism, I WOULD do it again, sure enough. I would find it within me to pull myself up and get on with it, knowing what I had to do.

Still, at least it's not autism again.

I thought about this when someone said that autism and diabetes were so similar. Hmmm. Not so much at all. With autism, I could take a day off. I could stop going to therapies for a day, a week, and she would STILL have autism. In fact, I remember when she was young and I had enough, I cancelled all her therapies for the day, got myself a People magazine, turned on 'Barney' for her and sat on the couch the entire day. Sure enough, she still had autism the next day.

I can't do that with diabetes.

It's on 24/7/365 in a much different way than autism. It requires so much intensive calculations and measurement and learning. In a more methodical way. It rocked my world, but the bost just swayed. It didn't tip over, throw us all off, require us to swim to shore and look for the friggin boat. Autism did that. That was a ride, my friends.

I don't want it misinterpreted that I think autism sucks. It's actually just another reality for my daughter and us. We are a happy family. She is a happy child. She is the love of our lives, along with our other children. To me, she is perfect, and she has autism.

So, while I wouldn't want to switch chronic diseases with anyone, or trade places from my beautiful one to someone else's, I thank whoever is in charge of this whole thing, that it's not autism again, but diabetes.